Post by Spyder_ on Jul 30, 2008 17:02:27 GMT -5
>> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
>> Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my
driver's
>> license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had
>> left my wallet at
>> home.
>>
>> I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home
>> and
>> come back later.
>>
>> The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt
revealing
>> my
>> curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is
proof
>>
>> enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
>>
>> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
>>
>> Social Security office.
>>
>> She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have
gotten
>>
>> disability, too'
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those
headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."
"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"
His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to
stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat,
"I do not have a headache,
I do not have a headache,
I do not have a headache."
It Worked! The headaches are all gone."
The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."
His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball
of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the
Hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"
The husband agrees to try it
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his
clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
He puts her on The bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into the bathroom and comes back. A few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes
back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.
The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With
that, he goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom,
she sees him standing at the mirror and saying,
"She's not my wife.
She's not my wife.
She's not my wife..."
His funeral service will be held on Friday.
>> Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my
driver's
>> license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had
>> left my wallet at
>> home.
>>
>> I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home
>> and
>> come back later.
>>
>> The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt
revealing
>> my
>> curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is
proof
>>
>> enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
>>
>> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
>>
>> Social Security office.
>>
>> She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have
gotten
>>
>> disability, too'
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those
headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."
"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"
His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to
stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat,
"I do not have a headache,
I do not have a headache,
I do not have a headache."
It Worked! The headaches are all gone."
The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."
His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball
of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the
Hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"
The husband agrees to try it
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his
clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
He puts her on The bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into the bathroom and comes back. A few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes
back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.
The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With
that, he goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom,
she sees him standing at the mirror and saying,
"She's not my wife.
She's not my wife.
She's not my wife..."
His funeral service will be held on Friday.